Round Table Area 14 President’s Weekend Tour to Prague 2009

Presidential Party Poses in Prague

Presidential Party Poses in Prague

Hugh Milward, National Counciller Region 10, has written about his experiences following Patrick to Prague.

When Patrick Maxwell, a member of Ashby-de-la-Zouch Round Table was elected Round Table Chairman of Area 14, Ashby 41 Club member Peter Good had no hesitation is accepting the honour to be President of Round Table Area 14.
Peter has brought to this post his vast experience of Table and his continued commitment to 41 Club. There is no better person to act as the 41 Club liaison officer for Round Table Area 14 and with this in mind Peter was determined to show that Tablers and 41 Club members can continue to enjoy fun and fellowship together irrespective of age.
Part of his strategy was to organise on behalf of the Area 14, a fun and fellowship weekend in Prague this January. A young and old mix of Tablers and 41 Club members totalling 17 in number took up the invitation, including a father and son combination and a prospective Tabler.
As 41 Club Regional Councillor I just had to attend to record if this mix of individuals did in fact have a great fellowship together and that Peter achieved his objective.
“Once a Tabler, always a Tabler” is Peter’s motto. What do you think?

Friday 16th January

09.00 hrs.

Breakfast at Birmingham Airport

Breakfast at Birmingham Airport

Turn up at Birmingham Airport to await the rest of the gang.

All 17 finally arrive:-
Peter Good, (Goody) Round Table Area 14 President
Patrick Maxwell (Culture Man) Round Table Area 14 Chairman
Darren Brookes (Brooksy) Round Table Area 14 Membership Officer
Greg Clark (Teeth Man) Ashby Round Table Chairman
David Southward (Crusher Man) Ashby 41 Club Chairman
Paul Addison (Addy) Ashby 41 Club
Simon Addison (Boy) Ashby Round Table
Dave Bodice (Bod) Leics. St Martins 41 Club, West Bridgeford RT President
Shahid Sheikh (Dark Horse) Leicester 500 Round Table Chairman
Andrew Woodhouse (Twig) Ashby Round Table
Paul Dumlo (New Man) Ashby Round Table prospective
Keith Toynton (Flat Hat) West Bridgeford Round Table
Derek Gralewski (What’s his name?) Ashby 41 Club
Tim Livesey (Mushroom Man) Honorary Ashby Round Table
Ian Slicock (Slapcock) Ashby 41 Club
David Crose (Posh Git) Ashby Round Table
Hugh Milward (Write that Down!) 41 Club National Councillor Region 10

09.45 hrs

Breakfast, tea, coffee or a beer in Yates Wine Bar.
Posh Git comments on travelling by public transport by exclaiming “The scum that are travelling on trains these days” He even asked if there was a 1st class compartment on the Manchester Tram!
Big Addy sets the Boy up (his son) by giving him a kiddie knife and fork to eat his breakfast.

11.00 hrs

President Goody falls asleep on the plane.
Posh Git settles into his book, a Penguin Classic, Plato, The Republic!
Bod cannot get his tray down as he is too fat.
Brooksy said “he would if he could” in eying up the trolley dolly.
Revelation! Posh Git eats Twix Bars.

11.45 hrs

Dark Horse discovers that he has changed all his Stirling into Euros. Where does he think he is going!

12.15 hrs

Brooksy and Write that Down spend £10.00 on the Scratch Cards. Two wins which result in another scratch card and £1.50 of goods. Swap goods for a further scratch card and carry on winning scratch cards (“Trolley Dolly Dee, we have won yet again”) till nothing.


Arrive at Prague Airport all busting for a pee and rush for the toilet. Posh Git challenges every one that if more than three shakes it’s a wank!


We all board mini bus as arranged. Posh Git tells mini bus driver where we are going as driver has never heard of Hotel. Driver asks if we would like some Prague culture on the video. Collective no, other than Culture Man in front seat who cannot see video screen anyway! Driver asks if we want alternative culture on Video. A collective yes, other than Culture Man who still cannot see the video screen. All settle back to watch porno film. Request to turn sound off after a while as all the moaning is getting on our tits!


Arrived at hotel, allocated rooms and dropped bags off and met in reception. A number of us walked straight across the road to the sex shop supermarket where we were tempted to buy a number of goodies as presents for the forth coming Area 14 Ladies Night.


dsc02259Eight of us headed off to find a bite to eat. Stooped off at the first restaurant we came upon and ordered eight beers and eight portions of goulash. Five more turned up after a phone call to say that the grub is good.


A number walked around the older quarter for a bit while others went for a beer. Posh Git settled on a coffee and a strudel as suits his status!
Goody, Slapcock and Write that Down called in at Tesco (yes, they have one) to pick up some water. Back at the Hotel we found we had purchased fizzy lemonade!


Some of us went back to the Hotel for a kip. Rumour about that Brooksy and Bod are already at a Bar and enjoying the early evening night life!


Decision made to meet at reception and have our evening meal together even if we split up during the day and night. Other than the buggers that are already on the town!


Another barCulture Man took the lead and walked us to a bar he knew. Loud moans from all that we appear to be walking away from the night life. (In good Table fashion, this was the first part of the plan to see if the Area 14 President would crack during this weekend and lose his rag)
The Bar was a bit touristy so we found a student bar that was packed and the beer was much cheaper.


Bod had recommended a Steak Bar to eat and had booked a table for us all. The steak bar was “El Coucho” the well known Argentinean restaurant chain. So much for authentic Prague food! Dammed expensive too!


Young and Old

Young and Old

We left Posh Git to settle (argue) the bill while others made off in various directions to sample the night life. He was arguing over £3.00 but managed to leave his £13.00 scarf behind!
Brooksy and Flat Cap having missed the meal are already settled in a Bar they had found way off the beaten track, so Bod, Goody, Dark Horse, Boy and Write that Down walked miles so it seemed, to join them. Freezing cold but worth the walk to see the Boy chatting up a 37 year old waitress and Bod a 19 year old.
The crack to be seen between the 64 year old ex tabler and the 21 year old tabler was magic!

Saturday 17th January


The Jaguar Bar just next to the Hotel became the place for a night cap for some.
Mushroom Man appeared at the door all alone not knowing where or what he had been up too. “I haven’t got any money left” was all he could say as he tried to light what was left of his cigar.
Apparently Crusher Man was tempted into a Bar by a bouncer saying entry is only 200 Prague shekels. “That’s four quid” says Crusher Man. ” F**k quid, what is f**k quid? I no understand English, you taking the piss?” says the bouncer squaring up to him!


For some the Jaguar Bar was not the last stop of the night and a bouncer persuaded us to call at another Bar just round the corner. We had a quick look and left, but Addy was attracted to a waitress and decided to stay. Having got a dance with the waitress at some cost, he was then told to go and play with himself. Such is life!


Goody and Write that Down awake and not being keen on the “do it yourself” breakfast (a tray left outside your door) headed out into town to get a proper breakfast. Met up with Crusher Man and Posh Git wandering the cold streets. No breakfast could be found so headed back to the Hotel as informed that we were all to meet up at 10.30 hrs.


The Saturday morning tour

The Saturday morning tour

Another go at Culture Man about his total lack of organisation and itinerary for this tour! Those not eaten breakfast raided what was left of the breakfast trays stacked up on the first floor.


Culture man took the lead again and walked us through the old town and over Charles Bridge up to the Castle. Bod, Brooksy, Flat Hat and Dark Horse were nowhere to be seen. No change there!


The walk up to the Castle is a steep climb and Slapcock, Goody and Write that Down stopped for a coffee half way up as we is getting on a bit! Met up with the rest at the top in a bar where the hot mulled wine was going down a treat. Still bitterly cold.


We all walked to the castle entrance. Goody noted that Twig had the same hair style as the hat the guard was wearing. Twig was forced to stand to attention along side the guard so we could compare “hats”. What do you think?


The Alternative Mozart Concert

The Alternative Mozart Concert

A bill board was promoting a Mozart concert at 13.00hrs, so after some cajoling by Posh Git and Culture Man a number rushed off down an alley to catch the concert. The rest carried on walking only to be met by the concert goers five minutes later rushing towards us still trying to find where the concert is taking place. We directed them to the concert entrance doorway just to our right. What is the problem with some people!


We received a phone call from the missing four. They had found a Bar with very cheap beer at 40 cents a pint. “Come and join us” So back down from the Castle we went.
Write that Down foolishly shook hands with a mime artist on the way back down. He would not let go of his hand until he had passed over some coins. Write that Down slipped his hand out of his glove to pay the man. Recovered his glove and shook the mime artist’s hand again to say good bye. Guess what happened? This time Teeth man had to bail him out. Great laughter from all!


After purchasing from a stall a number of big sausages with lots of mustard dripping all over the place, we met up at the cheap Bar. The guy behind the bar must have thought Christmas had come again as we all charged in ordering pints of dark beer. Bod and co had set up a card school and a number of the others joined in, including the Boy. Once again, the old and the young mixing and having a great laugh as the beer flowed.


Goody, Addy, Slapcock and Write that Down decided to go for a full Tai Massage for some unknown reason. We walked up to the Jewish quarter as someone had noted an establishment near there from the night before. Goody fell in love with the receptionist, but unfortunately we could not be accommodated till 16.30hrs so went for a bit to eat.


Did you know that in Prague you get a free muffin with your Big Mac meal. Where else do you go if you are hungry in a big city! We did not fancy our muffins so put them in our pockets for some charity work.
The street beggar chosen must have thought it very strange as at five minute intervals a muffin was dropped off by four pedestrians alongside his little collection tin!
We trust he enjoyed the muffins as well as the humour of it all.


where-are-weGreen tea is served and we are accompanied to our private rooms for our Tai Massage pummelling. Goody and Addy had to share a room. We lay down to soft lights, soft music and hushed quiet. Then a tiny young girl jumps on your back and gives your body hell. Fantastic!
Addy thought that it would be very relaxing having not had a massage before. “If I had known what was involved, I would have laid down in the street and asked someone to kick the s**t out of me, and much cheaper!”


Back at Hotel for a quick shower and all to meet up at the same Bar we met up at lunch time. Another big smile from the chap behind the bar. Goody asks Posh Git why he sitting away from the rest of us on a sofa in the corner of the room? Posh Git quietly picks up a small sign from the low table in front of him for all to see. “VIP guests only” is printed on the sign. Typical!


So what had Culture Man organised for our evening meal. No pressure Area Chairman, just some authentic Prague restaurant will do. Culture Man has just the place, a private room to ourselves overlooking the river and Charles Bridge. All sorted at lunchtime.


Mutiny in the ranks! No room or table set up, bar not open and freezing cold! When Culture Man was last here it was the height of summer. Most were for leaving winding Culture Man up even more. All congregated outside while Culture Man pleated for a bit of slack to sort it all out.
Brooksy moaned like the rest of us, but when he opened the door to let us back in he shouted “Come on lads, just get back in here now and support your Area Chairman” Creep!


Eventually we were put in the conservatory. (Plastic walls mind you) with some round tables they had cobbled together. Lovely view of the river and bridge as the snow gently fell. Inside we were freezing!
Floor rugs were found and used as blankets.
The moaning continued with threats to walk out. Slapcock nearly lost it and ranted a bit. Brooksy was not eating but still supporting the Area Chairman by commenting to Bod “You’re a miserable bastard, no one else has moaned tonight!”


The food when arrived was not that bad and even Slapcock said it was ok.
The bill was called for and passed to Culture man who called for each of us to cough up 800 shekels each! More uproar, so bill passed to Posh Git who got his calculator out and called for the manager. We all chucked in what we thought we should pay and left him too it. Some things in Table never change!

21.05hrs onwards

Fellowship in the bar

Fellowship in the bar

Beer and Bars, beer and Bars, a Chinese meal for some, paths grossed around town from Bar to Bar. A game of pool appeared somewhere in the evening and Goody was set up by walking into a Bar where the waitress said” Hi Pete, you did my Mum’s garden in Nottingham last year” He nearly fell for it!
Flat Hat was approached by a Lady of the Night asking if he wanted sex. He replied “Yes, but not with you!”
Yet more beer and Bars. (I shall leave the rest of the evening to your imagination!).

Sunday 18th January


A few hardy souls arrive back at the Hotel after a great night out.


Six of us ended up in the coffee shop Tram No. 2007 that was used in the uprising barricade against the Nazis at the end of the war. (I told you this was a cultural tour, didn’t I?)
Posh Git was complaining that there was no 1st class.


Funny what you discuss after a heavy night on the town, but we got on to the role of woman in society from the Tia girls who bow their heads when walking by to walking three steps behind the man. Goody said that that is how it should be!
After second cup of coffee the subject of presents for the wives was discussed, but quickly dropped.


Phone calls to meet up in the square for a final drink and a bite to eat. On the way Twig was spotted in a doorway with a waitress he had chatted to the night before. He did not see us so we crept up and took photo’s to hold for future blackmail. He is head over heels in love as he asked us where the visa office was. Oh to be young!


Are we all meeting in the square or not? Calls to Culture Man to complain again about the lack of organisation. Area Chairman is not answering his phone and has passed it to Tooth Man to take the calls. Have we got to him at last?


Beer and a pizza all round as we sit under the patio heaters outside in the square (No green agenda here!) Memories and tales of last night abound. Twig gets jet another text from his new Prague girlfriend.


Two small mini buses and a car back to the Airport. Posh git has to sit with the scum again as Bod and co. collar the car.


After checking in, Mushroom Man, Culture Man and Teeth Man walk to Passport Control not knowing that this is the exit back out of the Airport. It has been a long weekend for some!
Twig gets another text “Don’t leave me!”
Posh Git and Write that Down have an urge to go to the toilet. Discussion takes place in cubicles over graffiti as there is nothing to read in these very clean toilets. Posh Git confirms saying “I have a perverse desire to correct the spelling mistakes”
Just about sums up the weekend!


Safely arrive back at Birmingham Airport and time to say good bye to each other.
Twig gets another text!


A great fun weekend, despite the usual digs at each other, but that is part of the fun and then we just buy each other a pint!
Many thanks to Patrick and Peter for pulling it all together.
Was Peter’s objective to show that Table and 41 Club can support each other and enjoy fellowship together despite age gaps? Yes, I think so.

So it is now down to Area 14 and 41 Club Region 10 to get a joint Air Ambulance event together next.

End of a great weekend

End of a great weekend

2 Responses

  1. Fantastic report by Hugh which brought back some hazy memories of Merlin 998’s trip to Prague last February. We were there during Valentines weekend, which was very romantic.

    Please let us know when Twig announces his engagement and Brooksy gets over his anorexia.

  2. Pussies! On Beeston 573’s last jaunt to Prague our little Irish ‘Fecker’, Bosco Townsend (current President of Beeston 573 and 41 Club something or other) was observed naked if asleep in front of a Christine Aguiliara (sic) look a likey) wrapped around a pole in the Jaguar Bar. Shudder! It took me an unreasonable amount of time to retrieve Bosco’s Punts from the young ladies front bottom! As you can imagine, I didn’t wash my hands for a week! Bosco keeps hassling me for his money back.

    YiT … Diggers

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